Survivor Spotlight: JOANNE D'ALTON : Breast Cancer Survivor
Summer, 2007

Survivor Spotlight: FRANK YINKO : Colon Cancer Survivor
April, 2007

Survivor Spotlight: NANCY LAARMAN : Ovarian Cancer Survivor
January, 2007

Survivor Spotlight on MIKE LEMAHIEU : Colon Cancer Survivor (with liver metastisis)
December, 2006

Survivor Spotlight on MARY LICHTERMAN : Breast Cancer Survivor
September, 2006

Survivor Spotlight: JIM HAMMERLING : Multiple Myeloma Survivor
July, 2006

Survivor Spotlight: LORI SCHULTZ : Breast Cancer Survivor
May, 2006

Survivor Spotlight Update: BOB SHAROT : Head & Neck Cancer Survivor
May, 2006

Survivor Spotlight on MATT RILEY : Medullablastoma Cancer Survivor
December, 2005

Survivor Spotlight on MARTY TEN PAS : Breast Cancer Survivor
September, 2005

Survivor Spotlight Update on RALPH LEMP : Prostate Cancer Survivor
September, 2005

Survivor Spotlight Update on SANDY AMWEG : Breast Cancer Survivor
June, 2005

Survivor Spotlight on STEVE PHILIPPS : Prostate Cancer Survivor
June, 2005
Note from Tim: This spotlight is not about a man who has been cured of cancer. This story is about a man who is doing the very best that he can as he learns to live with his disease. And part of that learning includes thoughts on death and dying. Steve has given to many throughout his life. Last year Steve and his family received a service award for their volunteer work with the Boys and Girls Club. He is a volunteer firefighter. He is active in his church. Even with cancer, Steve reaches out to help others. A regular at our TLC Support Sessions, he will be quick to offer a ride or spend some time with other cancer survivors. And when a benefit was held to help Steve and his family deal with some of the financial burdens of his disease he kindly donated all the loose change that was received to the Sheboygan County Cancer Care Fund’s “Coins for Cancer Care” campaign. It surely doesn’t seem right that such a man and such a family should have to face cancer. And yet as I listened to Steve I heard no words of anger or blame. Yes, there was anguish… but anguish accompanied by acceptance. And yes, there was sadness… but it was sadness accompanied by hope! At one point Steve pointed out, “The treatment I’m getting now was supposed to make my hair fall out… but it’s still there! So who knows?” Indeed, “Who knows?”

The Diagnosis: “We couldn’t believe it!”

I was having some back pain and the chiropractor treated me with electrical stimuli. Then, in March of 2004, the pain got worse and I went numb from the waste down. So I went to the emergency room and they thought I was just having muscle spasms. They gave me some drugs and sent me home. It didn’t get any better and I started having other problems so I went back to the emergency room and they told me that it was still just muscle spasms. They sent me home and suggested that I see my regular doctor. When I went in to see Dr. Kuplic, he took one look at me and knew that there was something really wrong.

He did an MRI and they found a tumor on my spine. They did surgery to remove the tumor and they had to remove a part of my spine because the tumor was wrapped around the spine. We did some reading and, based on my symptoms and what we knew, we figured it was stage I or stage II at the most. Then we met with Dr. Pao and he told us the bad news… it was stage IV… we couldn’t believe it! I was just 43 years old and the father of four boys between the ages of 9 and 17… why me?

We started radiation and met with Dr. Matthews and got started on chemo. This was in April of last year. Then in May I had a blood clot in my leg which put me in the hospital. It was all so overwhelming. Cancer, partial paralysis from surgery, blood clots, high blood pressure! I was now taking all of these drugs and I needed a walker and a wheel chair. Looking back now, I don’t know how we got through all of that. We just took it one day at a time.

My goal in life has always been to raise and support my family. But suddenly I lost my ability to earn a living and I felt as though my role as a husband and a father was lost. I went from being the provider in the family to being the biggest burden. On top of all of this, I was no longer able to drive because of the partial paralysis. Whenever I needed or wanted to go somewhere someone had to take me. And I couldn’t do much to help out by getting the kids where they needed to go while Pam, my wife, was working.

The Impact of Cancer: “I can no longer do what I once did.”

I think we all want to feel needed. So I had to ask myself what people needed me for. I can no longer do what I once did. I have lifting restrictions, I can only stand for about a half an hour at a time, I can only walk about 200 to 300 yards before I need to sit down and rest. Because of all of these disabilities, I am now on social security, which has helped with some of the financial burden.

As I see it, now I am needed to do more of the stuff around the house. I am needed to be the housekeeper! I never thought that would happen! Me doing laundry? I don’t think so! But, I think I’m getting pretty good at that as well as cleaning and preparing meals.

Not being able to drive was really tough. I couldn’t take the kids where they needed to go while Pam was working and every time I needed to go to an appointment or wanted to go somewhere I had to depend on others. When I mentioned this to Dr. Matthews he pointed out that some people use hand controls to drive their car. We looked into it but because I had no income at the time and we had all of these medical bills we really couldn’t afford another expense. Then he mentioned the Sheboygan County Cancer Care Fund. Within about two weeks I was able to drive again with my new hand controls! That just lifted so many burdens because now I could get out and do the things that I needed to do on my own. It also gave me a chance to do other things instead of sit home all day. I started attending some of the TLC Support Sessions and I just got out of the house more. It allowed me to feel more independent and productive.

I used to be a volunteer fire fighter. Obviously, they recognized that I could no longer do what I used to do. Instead of just quitting as a volunteer fire fighter, I chose to find a new role that I could fill. Instead of leading a group of firefighters into the fire I am the secretary/ treasurer for the department and am taking care of the books and insuring that the maintenance is done on the equipment. I was recognized as “Firefighter of the Year” last year not because of what I did but because I did as much as I could.

Helpful Advice: “You have to have a lot of faith in your doctors.”

At one point I felt I needed a second opinion. It’s not that I didn’t trust what Dr. Matthews was telling me… I just didn’t like what I was hearing. I felt bad when I asked him about getting a second opinion but he encouraged it. So we went to UW Madison and, of course, we heard the same thing that he was telling us. So that eliminated any doubt and gave us more confidence in what we were doing. You need to have a lot of faith in your doctors or find doctors you have a lot of faith in! The medical professionals really do know what they are doing so give them a chance to do it.

Facing the Future: “If something happens, it is for a reason.”

I’ll be honest, I get scared when I think about my future. Should my current treatment stop working, which might only be 8-10 months, I know there aren’t a lot of options. Sure, there is experimental stuff out there and I know they are finding new things all of the time, but I also have to be realistic. I honestly don’t know if I will see all of my sons graduate from high school or be a part of their lives as they grow older.

My spirituality has grown a lot deeper through all of this. I find that I am getting a lot closer to God. I still don’t really understand why any of this is happening but I’m learning to accept what is happening and I’m learning to have more faith in God. If something happens, it is for a reason. But the reality of this whole thing… well, I don’t think I have faced it fully yet. My disabilities I have learned to live with. The side effects I have learned to work around. But I think I’m too young to think about dying.

Even though I know that the reality isn’t very good I still have a lot of hope. I’m even setting goals beyond what some may think the expectations are. I have hope that there is a new treatment so I can keep on “leapfrogging.” I have hope for a cure in the next couple months. I have hope that I can continue with my schooling and I am already signed up for classes next fall. I have hope I will graduate. And I have a lot of faith in God. If He wants me to do it, I will make sure that I do it! If not… well, that’s the way it is. But two years from now, if I am still here, I’m going to be ready to graduate! And we’re going to have a party!

Some people might wonder why I am spending my time going to school. Even some people in my own family. But I think that they are trying to protect me. It hurts them to see me struggle now with things that used to be so easy for me to do and it hurts them to think that I might fall short of my goals. It’s not that they don’t want to support me but instead I think it is actually a reflection of their love for me. And going to school isn’t easy with everything else going on. But I want my boys to see that I’m doing everything I can.

The Lessons of Cancer: “I have already learned a lot.”

The biggest thing that keeps me going is my family! I still consider myself to be new at this cancer thing… but I have already learned a lot. One of the most important things I’ve learned is that my four boys are the most special thing I have. I have been forced to sit down with my boys and really talk to them… one on one… which is something I never did before and probably would not have done had it not been for the cancer. So I feel much closer to my boys and I feel I know them much better. And I’ve gained a whole new appreciation for what they do and what they have accomplished.

I’ve learned that there is just so much I have taken for granted. My wife hung up a curtain the other day, which is something I would have never even noticed before. Now I notice these things and I even told her what a good job she had done. That seemed to surprise her! I’ve actually been paying attention and noticing what people around me are doing.

I read a story of a man who reminded his son, “If you take your time and look around you, all you need is there!” That is soooo true! Everything I have ever needed is all around me… I just didn’t take the time to look around me! I guess what Morrie Schwartz says in the movie “Tuesdays with Morrie” is true – “When you learn how to die, you learn how to live!” Thinking about dying is teaching me to look around me and I’m seeing so much more than I ever saw before!

The Final Word: “God still loves me!”

My ten-year old son asked me why bad things happen. I told him that God is like our parent. He loves us and wants to take care of us. It is a parent’s job to teach their kids things… like how to ride a bike. And then we let them go. We don’t teach them how to ride a bike so that they will go out and get hurt, but often times that is what happens. Parents know their kids are going to crash their bikes and skin their knees and scrape their elbows. In the same way, God lets us go so that we can do our thing. He loves us and he doesn’t want us to get hurt. But things happen. I know, no matter how sick I get, that God still loves me!

Survivor Spotlight on IONE HEINEN : Breast Cancer & Colo-Rectal Cancer Survivor
April, 2005

Survivor Spotlight Update: DON FICKETT : As Told By Caregiving Champion: LINDA FICKETT
March, 2005

Survivor Spotlight Update on AUDREY SWITA : Breast Cancer Survivor
January, 2005

Survivor Spotlight on BOB SHAROT : Head & Neck Cancer Survivor
January, 2005

Survivor Spotlights on DIANA BRAY & MARY SCHMEISER : Diana - Lung Cancer, Mary - Breast Cancer
October, 2004

Survivor Spotlight Update on GENE TE WINKLE : Melanoma Survivor
October, 2004

Survivor Spotlight Update on MARY ANN HAMMES : Breast Cancer Survivor
August, 2004

Survivor Spotlight on ART WESENER (Colon Cancer) : with Caregiving Champion JOANNE WESENER
August, 2004

Survivor Spotlight on JUDY FRIEDERICHS : Breast Cancer Survivor
June, 2004

Survivor Spotlight Update on PAT JENKINS : Breast Cancer & Hodgkin's Disease Survivor
June, 2004

Survivor Spotlight on: DR. PHIL WALKER : Prostate Cancer Survivor
March, 2004

Survivor Spotlight Update on: Rollie Huibregtse : Leukemia Survivor
March, 2004

Survivor Spotlight on: PEGGY KERR : Colon Cancer Survivor
January, 2004

Survivor Spotlight on EUGENE TEWINKLE : Melonoma Survivor
November, 2003

Survivor Spotlight Update on LINDA BURKART : Thymoma Cancer Survivor
November, 2003