Survivor Spotlight: JOANNE D'ALTON : Breast Cancer Survivor
Summer, 2007

Survivor Spotlight: FRANK YINKO : Colon Cancer Survivor
April, 2007

Survivor Spotlight: NANCY LAARMAN : Ovarian Cancer Survivor
January, 2007

Survivor Spotlight on MIKE LEMAHIEU : Colon Cancer Survivor (with liver metastisis)
December, 2006

Survivor Spotlight on MARY LICHTERMAN : Breast Cancer Survivor
September, 2006

Survivor Spotlight: JIM HAMMERLING : Multiple Myeloma Survivor
July, 2006

Survivor Spotlight: LORI SCHULTZ : Breast Cancer Survivor
May, 2006

Survivor Spotlight Update: BOB SHAROT : Head & Neck Cancer Survivor
May, 2006

Survivor Spotlight on MATT RILEY : Medullablastoma Cancer Survivor
December, 2005

Survivor Spotlight on MARTY TEN PAS : Breast Cancer Survivor
September, 2005

Survivor Spotlight Update on RALPH LEMP : Prostate Cancer Survivor
September, 2005

Survivor Spotlight Update on SANDY AMWEG : Breast Cancer Survivor
June, 2005

Survivor Spotlight on STEVE PHILIPPS : Prostate Cancer Survivor
June, 2005

Survivor Spotlight on IONE HEINEN : Breast Cancer & Colo-Rectal Cancer Survivor
April, 2005

Survivor Spotlight Update: DON FICKETT : As Told By Caregiving Champion: LINDA FICKETT
March, 2005
Note from Tim: Don Fickett was our “Survivor Spotlight” five years ago. I am saddened that Don is no longer with us to give us an update… but I feel especially blessed that his loving wife Linda was willing to share her perspective of Don’s “cancer adventure”. I was blessed to spend many hours with Don during the seven years that I knew him but this was the first opportunity I had to really talk with Linda. At one point Linda stated, “Don taught me a lot!” But I couldn’t help but wonder if Don was teaching Linda or Linda was teaching Don. Well, together, they have taught the rest of us much!

Linda Talks About Challenges:

My philosophy is that God gives us things in our lives and we need to accept what He gives us as His will and then we have to use the tools He gives us to deal with whatever comes our way. But it’s up to us to take the time to look for the tools that He provides us and embrace whatever comes our way with a positive slant. Both Don and I took the time to recognize the tools that God gave us; our support system, family, friends, Dr. Matthews, the clinic nurses, the hospice nurses, the medications. Because of that we didn’t fear death or the death experience. We may not have been ready for it… but we didn’t fear it!

Any challenge in your life, not just cancer, can either break you or make you stronger. God never promised a walk on this earth without challenges. Sure, we would like to slide by and not have to deal with those challenges but I wonder what kind of people we would be if we weren’t given the challenges we’ve been given. We have “free will” to make choices in life. To me it’s a “no-brainer!” Given the choice to deal with things as positively as we can or as negatively as we can, there really is no discussion!

Linda Talks About Don’s Cancer Adventure:

I was the one that told Don he had cancer. He was still under the anesthesia when the doctor came to talk to us back in 1993 and I told the doctor that I wanted to be the one to tell Don. I was scared to death to tell him. But when I told him he just looked at me and asked, “Well, what are we going to do about it?” And so, as Don would say, his “cancer adventure” began! Don was always very sincere. When he talked about cancer he was not pretending. The only times he was pretending was when people asked him how he was feeling and he’d say “Fine!” Then I’d see him go home and be sick! But he was never insincere when he talked about how he dealt with the cancer.

This “cancer adventure” didn’t make us appreciate our life more. We always enjoyed life, we always treasured life. But I think having cancer or having some challenges in life makes us better, stronger, more grateful.

Linda Talks About Preparing for Death:

We felt so blessed that we had ten years to prepare for Don’s death. And we did, we prepared for it! When Don got a bad report we didn’t dwell on death but we talked about it. We talked about hospice and came to the conclusion that when the time was right it would happen and we wouldn’t need a lot of discussion. Had we not talked about it over the years I think the decision would have been much more difficult!

We had a hospice nurse come and tell us the criteria for hospice… a life expectancy of six months or less! When the nurse mentioned that Don reacted with his usual humor and said, “Six months! I have grandchildren coming!” (Linda smiles and laughs.) But we both knew in our hearts it would probably be less than that. I was watching for Don’s reaction. He looked at me and smiled as if to say, “It’s okay!” His eyes still sparkled! (Linda says this with a “sparkle” in her own eyes!)

Poor Tess! She was the hospice nurse and she didn’t know Don that well. I could see in her face that she thought, as many people did, that Don was in denial. But I knew Don! He was sorting out in his mind how he was going to choose to deal with it. Throughout the whole process, even up until the end, Don was more concerned about his family than he was of himself. I think that is how a lot of people deal with cancer. You don’t dwell on your own situation but you think about other people who are going through it and how you can help them.

He really used those last two months to do things that were very much out of character. Neither Don nor I were ever very materialistic but he went out and bought me this diamond necklace! He came home with it and I literally fell to my knees.

He filled those last days of his life doing the things that he wanted to do. Up until the day before he died he was running around, getting his hair cut, getting new glasses, doing the things that all of us do! But when Don said he wanted to go to the support group I just cringed! You see, for the first time Don looked ill and had lost fifty pounds! I was worried he might scare people.

Note from Tim: Don’s presence at that TLC Support Session didn’t scare anyone but inspired us! Those that knew Don could see how his body was affected by the disease but it hadn’t taken away his incredible smile, his wonderful sense of humor, or his amazing spirit! When the session was over he took us out to the parking lot and proudly showed us the new truck Linda encouraged him to buy. “I always wanted a truck like that!” he said with pride and gratitude! He was enjoying every moment that this life offered him.

As a long-term care nurse with 30 years of experience I know when people are having pain and struggling at the end of life. I didn’t want Don to have to go through that. When things actually started to deteriorate that was the first time that Don had some questions. It wasn’t that his faith slipped or he feared his death but he had more questions. So, when the end seemed near I prayed that God would take Don. He was ready, we were ready, so God could take him whenever He wanted. My prayer was that Don would pass away without pain and in comfort… and my prayers were answered.

I think our society and culture is much worse than many others when it comes to talking about and accepting death as a part of life. It’s something that needs to be talked about and Don and I did talk about. We talked about what each of us wanted when we died. We both knew that I could have died before him. We talked about what we wanted as far as being buried or cremated. Don told me, “Linda, I won’t be there! So I don’t really care what you do… you can plant me in the back yard if you’d like!” This really helped me and the rest of the family because it was his way of telling us not to worry about him but to do what we needed to do to deal with his death. I’m just so grateful we talked about death. Had we not, those last months would have been much more difficult.

Linda Talks About Missing Don:

It’s difficult not having Don in my life anymore! As they say, the silence is deafening! And anybody who knew Don has to know what an adjustment this has been for me. There were times when Don would talk so much I would think, “Oh God, I could use a little silence! (Linda laughs.) But now my house is so quiet! Those are the tough times. But then I might put some music on or do something that reminds me of Don. It might bring me to tears but they are cleansing tears. If I wouldn’t have had all those memories I wouldn’t be as sad… so I’d rather feel sad knowing that it is because I’ve been so blessed.

Linda Talks About Her Faith:

I’ve had a lot of tears and I’ve gotten on my knees many times to express my sadness to God but I’ve never questioned Him. I’ve never doubted Him. I let God know how I feel about things that happen but I’ve never asked Him “Why?” And I don’t think our kids did either. But our kids grew up around Don so that doesn’t surprise me.

Linda Talks About Don’s NEW First Birthday:

Don and I even talked about anniversaries and how each one of us would get through those occasions alone. Don was so funny and he shared some of the ways he would remember me on occasions like our wedding anniversary should I die before him. He said there were some things he couldn’t share with me because they were too “suggestive”! (Linda’s tears are smothered by her smile and laughter.)

I told Don once that I didn’t know how I would get through the day that he died and he said, “If you would die before me, I would remember that day as the day you were born into a better life! That would be your first birthday! Isn’t it wonderful to think that starting that day we will have birthdays FOREVER!” What a wonderful way to look at it… but that’s Don! Birthdays were always important to Don and we always had to bring him presents! So we want to honor him with a party to celebrate his first “birthday!” And, as far as presents are concerned, we are going to ask that people make a donation to the Sheboygan County Cancer Care Fund!

Don, as many people know, was a musician and musicians like being in the limelight and don’t want to be forgotten. The kids want to honor Don this way. The kids are still mourning and so am I along with so many of Don’s family and friends. Putting a positive slant on something and celebrating Don’s first birthday is very empowering for me and it makes me feel good.

Linda Offers Her Best Advice:

The best advice I could give to is don’t wait to talk about the end-of-life and hospice! Do it now!! Don’t dwell on it… but don’t avoid it either.

Note from Tim: If you would like to further explore this “End of Life” discussion you are invited to join others on Wednesday, April 13th or Tuesday, April 19th to view and discuss the movie, “Tuesdays with Morrie” at MOA. There will be time for discussion after the movie.

Survivor Spotlight Update on AUDREY SWITA : Breast Cancer Survivor
January, 2005

Survivor Spotlight on BOB SHAROT : Head & Neck Cancer Survivor
January, 2005

Survivor Spotlights on DIANA BRAY & MARY SCHMEISER : Diana - Lung Cancer, Mary - Breast Cancer
October, 2004

Survivor Spotlight Update on GENE TE WINKLE : Melanoma Survivor
October, 2004

Survivor Spotlight Update on MARY ANN HAMMES : Breast Cancer Survivor
August, 2004

Survivor Spotlight on ART WESENER (Colon Cancer) : with Caregiving Champion JOANNE WESENER
August, 2004

Survivor Spotlight on JUDY FRIEDERICHS : Breast Cancer Survivor
June, 2004

Survivor Spotlight Update on PAT JENKINS : Breast Cancer & Hodgkin's Disease Survivor
June, 2004

Survivor Spotlight on: DR. PHIL WALKER : Prostate Cancer Survivor
March, 2004

Survivor Spotlight Update on: Rollie Huibregtse : Leukemia Survivor
March, 2004

Survivor Spotlight on: PEGGY KERR : Colon Cancer Survivor
January, 2004

Survivor Spotlight on EUGENE TEWINKLE : Melonoma Survivor
November, 2003

Survivor Spotlight Update on LINDA BURKART : Thymoma Cancer Survivor
November, 2003