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Survivor Spotlight: MARK FRITSCH
: Renal Cell Carcinoma Survivor December, 2007
Survivor Spotlight: JOANNE D'ALTON
: Breast Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight: FRANK YINKO
: Colon Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight: NANCY LAARMAN
: Ovarian Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight on MIKE LEMAHIEU
: Colon Cancer Survivor (with liver metastisis)
Survivor Spotlight on MARY LICHTERMAN
: Breast Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight: JIM HAMMERLING
: Multiple Myeloma Survivor
Survivor Spotlight: LORI SCHULTZ
: Breast Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight Update: BOB SHAROT
: Head & Neck Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight on MATT RILEY
: Medullablastoma Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight on MARTY TEN PAS
: Breast Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight Update on RALPH LEMP
: Prostate Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight Update on SANDY AMWEG
: Breast Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight on STEVE PHILIPPS
: Prostate Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight on IONE HEINEN
: Breast Cancer & Colo-Rectal Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight Update: DON FICKETT
: As Told By Caregiving Champion: LINDA FICKETT
Survivor Spotlight Update on AUDREY SWITA
: Breast Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight on BOB SHAROT
: Head & Neck Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlights on DIANA BRAY & MARY SCHMEISER
: Diana - Lung Cancer, Mary - Breast Cancer They are two different individuals with different personalities and situations. Diana is the older of the two with two adult children. Mary’s children were seven and eleven when she was diagnosed. But both speak of their supportive husbands. And both speak with a similar perspective… an amazing outlook… and a hopeful attitude! Perhaps some things in this life are just a matter of chance… but the important things (things like faith, hope and optimism) seem to me to be more a matter of choice! These two women have made that choice… and have a heartwarming story of friendship to show for it! DIANA’S DIAGNOSIS Diana: I had slipped and fallen at work and hurt my back. The doctor told me it was a severe sprain and I needed to just give it time. It wasn’t getting any better so I started seeing a chiropractor and after a few months the insurance company wasn’t real happy so I went in for an MRI. The MRI showed that there was cancer through the bones and on my spine. The chiropractor immediately set up an appointment with my family doctor who immediately sent me over here to Matthews Oncology and I walked in with all of my papers and Dr. Bettag was nice enough to see me right away. We weren’t sure what type of cancer it was or where it came from… I just walked in the door and said, “Help me, please!” And I’m still here! (with a smile and a laugh) After all the blood tests and biopsies we found out on July 8th, 2003 that it was lung cancer and immediately started treatment. After about seven months I built up sensitivity to the drugs that I was on so I started getting radiation. After radiation we started on a different chemotherapy but unfortunately, that didn’t help. The bone lesions remained stable but the tumor on the trachea showed growth. So now I’m on my third chemotherapy drug along with five weeks of radiation. I had a CT scan today… and I’ll find out the results on Tuesday. Hopefully, we’ll get some good news! Note from Tim: I spoke to Diana on Tuesday after she learned the results. “I got some really good news!” she said. “Everything is stable! Well, they didn’t check my head because we all know I’m not very stable up there! (Ha-Ha-Ha) The tests showed there was no significant growth, no new areas of concern and there might have even been some shrinkage! So I’m really happy!!!” MARY’S DIAGNOSIS Mary: I had gone on a bicycle ride with my kids. When I got home I hopped in the shower and found a lump. I immediately talked to my husband and my mother and everyone was encouraging me to have it checked out so within a week I had an appointment set. After a mammogram and a biopsy I found out I had breast cancer. It was July 28th… a Monday morning… and the doctor told me the news over the phone. It was a shock to hear something like this over the phone and at first I didn’t know what to ask him. But after I was off the phone for a few minutes I had so many questions and didn’t know what to do. So, I really do wish he would have told me in person. I didn’t know what else to do so I went in to work after I got off the phone. I just wanted to keep busy. My children go to school with Dr. Bettag’s children and, actually, my kids and I had a play date later that week with his wife and their kids. So I called Dr. Mark and spoke with him later that afternoon. We chose to have a lumpectomy and then I came here for chemotherapy along with radiation. A FRIENDSHIP DEVELOPS Mary: I was very nervous for my first chemotherapy. I was feeling scared and feeling sorry for myself… wondering why this happened to me. My husband Steve was with me. Then, I will never forget it, Diana walked in! Her husband Geoff was helping her to the chair and everyone was concerned about her because she had just been in the hospital. I asked her if she was okay and she told me, “I just spent the weekend at the St. Nicholas Holiday Inn!” It was just amazing to see her make a joke about it. So we just started a conversation. I asked her questions about treatment, how it feels, and about the side effects… but we also laughed a lot! We ended up talking about a lot of other things other than cancer and had a wonderful conversation. Pretty soon I had forgotten that Steve was even there with me. So, after that first treatment I said to my husband, “Honey, you don’t have to come with me next time… I’ll be okay!” When I first came here I had no intentions of making friends or having fun with anyone! I was scared and figured I would just go there, get this done, maybe fall asleep, and then go home. If I would have been offered a private room for treatment I probably would have taken it. But that would have been a big mistake and I probably would have had a terrible experience! Our time in the treatment room became a “social hour” for us where we could talk. Sometimes about cancer… but more often about other things! We met a lot of neat people. And we keep in touch with many of them. Diana: It was pretty much by chance that we got to know each other. I was getting treatment every three weeks and Mary was being treated every two weeks so we weren’t even here together all that often. But I would see Mary when I came in for labs, or hydration, or things like that. I was pretty sick when I first came here. I was just here! The cancer had gotten in the bones quite badly and I could hardly walk. Mary: And that was what really impressed me when I first met Diana. She has such a wonderful attitude. Despite how sick she was and how much pain she was in, there she was making jokes about it all! MAKING MORE THAN THE BEST OF THE SITUATION Diana: Mary started bringing in hot water for tea and she shared it with all of us. Then we started bringing in hot cocoa, and Marshmallow Fluff, and cookies. Mary: Your building was under construction when I started… and no one offered me coffee. So I brought in my own tea. Then I started thinking about all of the stuff in my house that nobody uses and so I pulled out my Grandma’s teacups and saucers and I started bringing enough to share with others in the treatment room. And Diana introduced me to the better things in life… like Marshmallow Fluff and the “Fluff-a-nutter Sandwich!” Diana: Marshmallow Fluff (marshmallow in a jar) is wonderful in hot cocoa and it’s great with peanut butter. You put peanut butter on one slice of bread and Marshmallow Fluff on the other slice than you smoosh them together! My sister used to tell me, “You’ve never lived until you’ve had a Fluff-a-nutter Sandwich!” DEALING WITH REALITY Diana: When I was diagnosed, my first worry was how was I going to tell my mother. It was less than a year earlier that I had lost my sister to cancer and I just didn’t want to get on the phone and tell my mom that she could lose another daughter. Other then that, I didn’t know what to think. My only thought was, “Okay, I don’t care what you do but get me in here, help me, and do what you have to do!” And that is still my thought! I think that is kind of my nature… just get it done and get it over with! Dr. Mark offered to let me take a break from chemotherapy for a while… and I said, “No we can’t… we’ll just keep on going!” Mary: When I was first diagnosed, my first concern was that I didn’t want to scare the kids and I wanted to continue on with life and try not to make any changes. I wanted to keep going for the bike rides. If I was tired… well then it would just be a shorter bike ride. But I didn’t want to miss out on anything because I had cancer! It really consumed me at first. I was a worrier. I would be washing dishes, or having fun and the thought “I have cancer” would pop into my head. And I didn’t want to live like that. It got a lot better after surgery because I was confident that they had gotten it all. It had spread into my lymph nodes so they removed my lymph nodes as well. Diana: I have to admit that I am envious of Mary because the doctors could go in and cut her cancer out and she could be done with it. And they can’t do that for me. It’s still hanging around. That makes me very angry! (Note: although Diana follows this statement with that wonderful laugh of hers the truth and honesty of her words are felt.) Mary: I could surely understand that… because I know what a relief it was for me after surgery… and I can’t imagine knowing it’s still there! I was there the last time that Diana was getting her results from the PET Scan. (Mary moves forward in her chair and turns to look directly at Diana before she continues) I was glad that the cancer on the bones didn’t progress but I was upset that the tumor on the trachea grew. But there’s nothing I can do… and if there was I would surely do it! Diana: I was pretty devastated that day! But then we figured it was really kind of positive because it didn’t show up anywhere else and the bones hadn’t worsened. We’re just going to have to go back and do something else. Mary: It was hard because I really didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should call and it wasn’t until about a week later that I did. Because I didn’t call her right away didn’t mean that I wasn’t thinking of her. I think of her all of the time! DON’T LET CANCER ‘CONSUME’ YOU Diana: I know Mary is doing well and I am so happy for her. I do think it’s the cancer that bonds us together… but it’s more of an unspoken thing. I think we each sort of know what the other has been through…so we don’t need to talk about it all of the time… and we each know that the other one understands and cares! When I was first diagnosed there were times that it was phone call after phone call and all people wanted to talk to me about was cancer… cancer… cancer! But my life is so much more than that. I’m not saying that my husband and I don’t think about it but we don’t base our life on the cancer and we don’t let it run our lives. I don’t want every phone conversation to be about cancer. Most of the time it’s non-existent! I go to work every day… and probably give work the best five hours of my day (she says with hearty laughter)! When Mary and I go camping together…. Diana & Mary: (in unison) We don’t even talk about it!!! (Followed by much laughter) Mary: We started talking about camping one day when we were in the treatment room together and it just so happens that we both enjoy it. So this past March we set up several camp dates. We only live about five blocks from each other but we never would have ever met if it hadn’t been for this! Now we do a lot of things together. Our husbands have hit it off really well and Diana has given my kids jobs to do. Martha feels so important because she’s Diana’s dog walker and Timmy is their “muscle” and does the weed whacking at their house. Diana: We all have a great time when we go camping together. I think Timmy was getting sick of the job which is why he broke his arm on our last camping trip… so he won’t have to do it any more (more laughter). And Martha’s having these cards made up as the official dog walker! Sometimes that scares me! Sometimes it’s in the back of my mind that I don’t want to get too attached to Martha and Timmy in case something happens to me. But, I know they’re tough… they can handle it. Sometimes cancer does run my life more than I want it to. But on the other hand, this is not just a visit at the doctor’s office. I have made many friends with every one of the nurses and the staff here as well as some of the other patients. As much as I’d rather not have to come here as often as I do it sometimes is the highlight of my day! I bring my bags of popcorn and I’ve become known as “the popcorn lady.” Sometimes I might just sit and visit with Pam at the front desk, or start up a conversation with one of the nurses, or one of the other patients. I guess I’ve just made this a part of my life and everyone here is my friend and a part of my family. I almost think it would break my heart not to be here sometime! And yet, there are still times I still wonder why can’t this just go away! But I have taken every minute that I have felt good and I’ve taken advantage of it and I’ve done what I wanted to do! CANCER – A BLESSING OR A BURDEN? Mary: I consider cancer to be a blessing. It was an eye-opening experience that has given me a better quality of life right now. And I hope I never lose that feeling! I thought I was a happy person before I had cancer. But then, going through this, I realize that I appreciate life much more and am much happier now then before. I don’t think this is something that can be taught… but it’s something that has to be experienced by each person so that they really appreciate what they have. Diana: I don’t know if I can say cancer is a blessing… but it’s different for me. I don’t consider myself a cancer “Survivor!” I’m SURVIVING with cancer! I’m still living WITH it! But it’s still floating through my body. I don’t know if I can say that cancer has been a blessing until it is gone! Has it given me a better attitude? Yes! Has it helped me to look at things differently and opened my eyes to things? Yes! Has it caused me to focus my days on doing what I want to do and what I think is best? Yes! I don’t worry about the little things anymore. I don’t worry as much about the few dishes in the sink, or that the house isn’t perfect, or if they throw wet towels down the laundry chute. If things get done, they get done. And if they don’t, they don’t. That’s just the way it is. I don’t kill myself trying to get them done. I’m not crabby like I sometimes used to be. Geoff comes home and tells me, “I know you want me to get this, and this, and this done!” and I tell him, “Just get done what HAS TO BE done!” But in the long run is cancer going to be a blessing for me? I don’t know! I don’t want to say dying is a blessing… because I’m not ready to do that yet! So you’ll have to save that question for another day. Mary: Even though cancer is not a part of my life like it was, and like it still is with Diana, I try not to fall back to old habits. The other day, for example, I was supposed to go grocery shopping, clean the house and I had a whole list of other things to do… but I ran into a friend and we went out and had coffee. It was really nice… and it didn’t bother me that I didn’t get all those things done! You just have to make time for yourself and for others! I would never want to say this is a closed chapter in my life! One of the guys who went through this the same time as I even said one day that we’re “soul mates!” We’ve got something in common and we’ve gone through this experience together. My mother had a real hard time with this, as I would suspect most moms would. She has a Sacred Heart statue of Jesus standing with his hands cupped in front of him in her bedroom. Well, one day I noticed that she put a little picture of me in his hands… and I felt this load being taken away from me! I didn’t have to worry anymore… because I was in God’s hands! I was literally in His hands! There was my little face in His hands! But it really made me realize that much of this is out of my control. I asked my mom about it and she said she felt so much better after she put my picture there and I assured her that it made me feel so much better as well! That was a turning point for me! A couple weeks ago my mom got to meet Diana and she told me how glad she was to have met her because she prays for her all the time and now she has a face to go with her prayers. ADVICE TO OTHERS Mary: Take advantage of the treatment room and all of the other people in there… and I mean both the staff and the other patients. Talk to some of the other patients that are there… you’re both probably going to be there for a while. To go off in one of the side rooms all alone would be a mistake, I think. You would be amazed at what incredible people you might meet! Diana: Give yourself time to be angry. Give yourself time to feel sorry for yourself. We all do it! But, like Mary said, take the time to talk to people. You’re not going through this alone. You’re here with everybody else and we’re all going through the same thing. And, DON’T STOP LIVING! Don’t let this consume your life! It can… but you can’t let it. That is a choice that each one of us must make for ourselves! Feel sorry for yourself. Be angry. Throw things if you have to. But then live! Do what you want to do. Do what makes you happy. And don’t care what everybody else thinks.
Survivor Spotlight Update on GENE TE WINKLE
: Melanoma Survivor
Survivor Spotlight Update on MARY ANN HAMMES
: Breast Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight on ART WESENER (Colon Cancer)
: with Caregiving Champion JOANNE WESENER
Survivor Spotlight on JUDY FRIEDERICHS
: Breast Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight Update on PAT JENKINS
: Breast Cancer & Hodgkin's Disease Survivor
Survivor Spotlight on: DR. PHIL WALKER
: Prostate Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight Update on: Rollie Huibregtse
: Leukemia Survivor
Survivor Spotlight on: PEGGY KERR
: Colon Cancer Survivor
Survivor Spotlight on EUGENE TEWINKLE
: Melonoma Survivor
Survivor Spotlight Update on LINDA BURKART
: Thymoma Cancer Survivor
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1621 N Taylor Drive
Suite 100
Sheboygan, WI 53081
www.moa-scbx.com
H. Marshall Matthews, M.D.
Oncology/Hematology 920-458-7433
S. Mark Bettag, M.D. Oncology/Hematology 920-452-1650